Yes. yes indeed I'm starting to get used to living away from home with total strangers. It sucks sometimes but I've learned to accept it. Though the bad times are REALLY bad...I've learned to depend on the most important person...me. Becoming an introvert is not so bad...you just have to learn that nobody outside of yourself really cares about what's going on with you. yeah. it sucks. but I take it with a grain of salt. I've learned that my roommate pretty much hates me...but whatever. I've learned that this is JUST like high school all over again. The hierarchy of friends...the competition to one-up each other. fucking OVER IT. but I must, MUST laugh it off before I go crazy in this joint. No one here cares about me. No one at home cares about me. It's all up to me now. I'm realigning my priorities. Repositioning my loyalties. Realizing the falsehoods I've put up with for the past year. No strings to tie me down...I could move to the other side of the world, or worse...just die...and no one would truly be hurt aside from my family. Don't trip now...this is the opposite of a suicide note! I'm simply trying to laugh off the fact that NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.
On a lighter note...I'm finally branching out. Making friends here and there. Spending less time with the wretched roommate and gaining new perspectives. Receiving attention from places I thought were gone. Finding emotions I didnt know I had...while learning to conceal others.
I just know this is not my finale...simply a transition. A mere speedbump on my path to greatness. And speaking of greatness...I'm afraid I'm losing my focus on the bigger picture and the greater path that I have made for myself. I'm starting to re-evaluate my dreams but I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of the old ones.
Cutting this one short. too much emotion with no filter.
